Where to begin? (SIGH)....I'll start with a quote (I love quotes) I read once: "Joy and sorrow are inseparable...together they come and when one sits alone with you.....remember that the other is asleep upon your bed." (Yes, photo's are further down.)
Ms. Jewel was my first pregnancy. I had already been through the storms in other areas of my life; my brothers sudden and tragic death when he was accidentally electrocuted at age 28, killing him instantly, my mother's constant disownment of me tearing me at my heart, trying to comprehend a mothers rejection. I was also trying to fight depression (which I didn't know I had at the time) without meds, just dealing with a lot and battling different emotions....hard to explain....unless you've been there. I was pregnant with Jewel and I was both thrilled and in shock....I had a feeling I was pregnant very early....my body just felt different....I took my pregnancy test when I was just 5 weeks along and sure enough it read positive. I was in disbelief, so I went to the dollar store and bought several more pregnancy tests (by the way those dollar store tests do just as good as a job as spending the $18 on brand home pregnancy tests...trust me I did them both....). After a dozen test that all read positive I sat in silence holding my belly (as if I were already popping out of my clothes....lol.). I had goosebumps and butterflies in my stomach (not to mention a tiny baby being formed). I called Jesse and told him right away. He was calm and relaxed. Not surprised at all, which shocked me because I was absolutely stunned. I called to make my first OBGYN appointment at around 6 weeks along to confirm my pregnancy. The OBGYN receptionist first told me that their office was not accepting any new patients but I was feeling cramps and a little 'off' so I asked the woman if she could recommend another place for me to call that takes Aetna Ins. She placed me on hold to tell the OBGYN that I was having mild cramping and the doctor decided to fit me into her schedule somehow. Jenny, my close friend, and I went to her office and saw Dr. Lynn Brooks. She said because I was so 'early' that a belly ultrasound was not showing anything so she would have to do a vaginal ultrasound. She did just that and we heard Hannah's heartbeat and saw her tiny image flicker on the screen. Dr. Brooks told me that I was about 6-7 weeks along and then gave me a free diaper bag with a lot of information in it. She said the 'cramping' I feel was probably just some stress with the news or just my womb adjusting to all of the changes, but that she sees nothing wrong or worrisome for me to be concerned over. The whole experience was very surreal. Fast forward.... I was scheduled for my next appointment which was 1 month later; about 11 weeks into my pregnancy. The nurse did all of my pre-exam work and stated that my blood pressure was a little concerning because it was on the high side. She didn't appear overly worried though and let me leave without any precautions of any kind. She just instructed me to schedule another appointment in 1 month to return. One month later.... I return to my appointment and this time the same nurse (For the life of me I don't recall her name)......called Dr. Brooks after doing my initial exam. Dr. Brooks was not on site because she was called out to do an emergency C-section on another mother. The nurse re-entered my exam room and told me that she was putting me on home bed rest because my blood pressure was way to high. She wrote me a note for work and I left to deliver the information to my boss. I was a little uneasy because I was a very dedicated worker and hardly missed any days on the job. It felt awkward not being at work but feeling forced to stay home. Well, if you know anything about me, I did a poor job of 'home bed rest'....I just didn't take the seriousness of everything somehow and ended up getting up fairly often; doing housework, making small meals, running a few errands here and there.....I just didn't 'grasp' the concept of the seriousness of my high blood pressure. It never registered in my head somehow. Especially since I didn't 'feel' anything wrong; therefore I didn't 'get' what the big worry was over. I soon realized that's exactly why they refer to high blood pressure as 'the silent killer' since most folks don't 'feel' anything is wrong therefore they have no idea their body is failing them. Looking back at this time, I wish I had handled things differently. Maybe if I had things wouldn't have turned out with her being born quite as early. However, I can not take this back and my only option is to simply look to the future. I was asked to return to Dr. Brooks office another 4 weeks later when I was about 15 1/2 weeks pregnant. Dr. Brooks was there that day and after seeing me and checking my vitals she immediately instructed me to go to St. Johns Hospital for admittance. I did as she instructed but still felt odd, like I didn't understand what all the hype was about. So my blood pressure was a little high and I was swelling a bit; what was the big deal? I still felt fine. Even so, I did as she directed.... I went to St. Johns and up to the Labor and Delivery Ward where the staff and nurses set me up in a room, hooking me up to get all my vitals and listen to Jewel's fetal movement and heartbeat. After a few hours my husband showed up at the hospital with me and later Dr. Brooks arrived. She appeared angry with the staff there because they were not recording Jewel's fetal movement; they were just listening to her audibly. Dr. Brooks had no way of knowing what Jewel's last hours of movement and activity looked like on paper and she scolded the nurses right in front of us, telling them to get the paper monitor and printing machine to record all of her movement immediately. She then ordered another nurse to get an IV in me, scolding her as well wondering why this wasn't already done. It was very tense in the room and that's when I began to feel the stress and seriousness of everything. Dr. Brooks told me that my blood pressure was extremely high and that I had protein in my urine, showing I had gestational diabetes. She explained that she was going to get in touch with a 'high risk' OBGYN to meet with me at St. Johns because I was too soon in my pregnancy to be showing such signs of extreme high blood pressure. This is where we first met Dr. T. Rowe. He was amazing! He was a Christian in all definitions of the word. Every time my husband and I thanked him for his assistance Dr. Rowe would always say 'Don't thank me; thank the Good Lord above.' He explained the concerns he had and was trying to get me transferred out of St. Johns to Clear Lake Regional Hospital, where he could monitor me closer. (His office was in the next building over from Clear Lake Hospital) He was having a hard time getting the clearance to have me transferred, doing everything in his power to win the 'fight' and eventually he did. An ambulance finally arrived that night around 2 AM and had me moved from St. John's Hospital to Clear Lake. I remember getting sick in the ambulance and after the drivers rolled my bed out of the back I asked them to stop a minute because I was about to vomit, which I did. They were very nice....probably because I didn't throw up in their ambulance but instead made it hit the pavement. From there I was set up in a room that was to be my new home for the next 9 weeks. I was set up and monitored in every way possible in that section of the hospital; the Anti-Pardon wing. I was weighed every morning, woken up throughout the night (several times) to get my vitals checked on a regular basis, had my blood and urine tested weekly, and each time Dr. Rowe would come to explain to me some new discovery of what I was facing and why I was a big concern of his. Here is a list of everything he stated that I had going on with my pregnancy: 1) The very common gestational diabetes 2) Extreme high blood pressure and protein in urine (part of the gestational diabetes) 3) Oligohydramnios, an amniotic fluid abnormality, showing that the amniotic fluid around Hannah was dangerously low, which could cause kidney and lung failure, premature birth, limb abnormalities, and possibly delivery of a stillborn baby or death of the infant closely after birth. 4) A condition called Thrombophilia, a disorder that promotes and causes dangerous blood clotting. 5) V.T.E., a contributing condition associated with Thrombophilia. 6) Concerns about NTDs such as spina bifida and anencephaly due to Folic Acid concerns. (Although I took Folic Acid vitamins daily my body was not absorbing the nutrients due to the many other conditions I was facing.)
7)There was more, but I don't recall everything....I lost count and with feeling ill often I couldn't keep up with all the new information. I was put on multiple medications through my IV, some of them making me feeling very sick and nauseous. I was given steroids injections in my hip to help develop Jewel's lungs as a precaution in case she had to be delivered early, which they were obviously expecting. I was ordered two Lovenox injections twice daily in my belly up until delivery of my baby. My IV fluids were increased in hopes of adding to the low amniotic fluid surrounding Jewel and I was instructed to drink obscene amounts of water, which was very difficult for me. I did it for the sake of Jewel, but with everything my body was dealing with and all the various medications I could barely stomach anything else going into my body, even if it was only water. I did my best but with all my efforts, my water consumption did very little in adding to the level of amniotic fluid surrounding her. By the 25 1/2 week, Dr. Rowe did another ultrasound and said he feared he may have to deliver Jewel that day, but he was going to get a second opinion. He was doing his best to keep Jewel inside my womb to at least 28 weeks, but his hopes were dimming. I was told that the amniotic sack around Jewel was deteriorating quickly and was beginning to suffocate our precious little one. She was drowning inside my body and the only way to rescue her was to deliver. Dr. Rowe got another specialist to check Jewel's 'score' level of different activities, fluids, and various other things. (I forgot the 'scoring' method name they used to determine her level of health in my womb.) They both agreed that they didn't have 'time' on their side but would try to risk keeping Jewel inside my womb for just another more day. Each day both high risk doctors came into my room to redo all the ultrasounds and checking on Jewel and each day they agreed they could wait just one more day. With every day that Jewel was able to stay in my womb was one more day that gave her hope to survive on the outside of it. Finally on week 27, Aug. 28th, 2003, both doctors agreed they could wait no longer; Jewel had to be taken by C-section that day....she was in serious danger of suffocating inside my body and her heart rate was showing signs of strain. She was fighting just to keep alive but was gradually losing the battle. I remember Dr. Rowe specifically making the statement 'Okay, it's time to get this kiddo outta here. She'll probably weigh between 2-3 lbs and we may not be able to show her to you right away, but we'll try to at least give you a brief first look of your little one.' I don't know why I was smiling when they wheeled me off to get prepped for the C-section; something in me was just happy to have our precious baby and having her 'rescued' from my body was a relief to me. I think the whole experience was surreal and it didn't fully register to me the reality of Jewel's frailness, or maybe I was under denial and my brain was trying to protect me from the fact that Jewel faced the real possibility of not surviving.
ME GETTING PREPPED FOR MS. JEWEL'S DELIVERY
DR. THOMAS ROWE, HIGH RISK OBGYN. AWESOME CHRISTIAN MAN OF GOD!
Everything happened very quickly and then all of a sudden Jewel was delivered. She was much smaller than they had expected, weighing in at 1 pound 9 ounces and was 11 inches long. I remember hearing one teeny tiny little squeal of a cry from her that brought tears to my eyes. The doctor briefly held her out for me to see and I recall tears falling from the side of my face as my husband stroked my hair whispering that 'Everything will be okay. She's beautiful!' Three different NICU nurses and one Pediatric Doctor began to work on Jewel getting breathing tubes down her throat, trying to get tiny IV's in her ultra paper thin veins, strapping her with heart and breathing monitors, wrapping her with blindfolds over her eyes for protection and then creating some type of NICU 'water bed' that held her tiny body in a soft cushion so that she would be as comfortable as possible. Then they took a Saran Wrap type of material and surrounded her entire bedding and body with it; this was to keep moisture from cracking or peeling her see through, very thin skin. This is the first time I saw Jewel, several hours after she was delivered. Many friends have told me that this image actually makes her look pretty healthy, but it doesn't give the affect of the real size of her very small frame. She was in critical condition and as you can see from the photo she had many tubes, wires, oxygen pumps, blindfolds, and even earmuffs over her ears to keep her as minimally stimulated from noise, lights, or other outside influence that might arouse or startle her. The surran wrap that you see surrounding Jewel was placed over her due to her skin being ultra thin and so it was used to help lock in moisture and prevent it from cracking. It still did crack some, but I'm sure not nearly as much if they hadn't of placed the wrap around her body.
MS. JEWEL 1 LB. 9 OZ. 11 IN. LONG
"Joy and sorrow are inseparable...together they come and when one sits alone with you.....remember that the other is asleep upon your bed."
This photo was taken without any flash (we were instructed not to use flash because it might 'stir' her) so I had to use my computer to make adjustments on the coloring affect to show her image more clearly. JEWEL'S DIAPERS SHE WORE AT 1 LB. 9 OZ. THEY CALL THESE 'TEENIES' FOR THE TINIEST OF BABIES.
The first time the nurse wheeled me in on a wheel chair to see Jewel, I was in shock. She was so tiny and my heart hurt for her deeply. I immediately felt sick as I began to cry and asked to be taken back to my room. I was not prepared for seeing my precious Jewel in this manner and although I wanted desperately to be near her side, I fell ill from seeing her this way. On the way back to my room and as the nurses were getting me back in my bed, I fainted. I was in such shock and trauma stricken that I passed out and awoke moments later hearing the sound of several nurses yelling to call a doctor because I wasn't waking up. Of course hearing them yelling awoke me rather quickly and I 'came too'. I was still very shook up and troubled for a long time afterwards. Jewel spent three very long months in the NICU, first in the most intensive level of the NICU, then when she developed and learned to eat, swallow, and breath on a regular basis combined with reaching 3 1/2 lbs. she was graduated to the next level of the NICU, where babies are gradually weaning off of their intensive medical care and slowly preparing the infants to live independent from medical machinery that once kept them alive. (FIRST IMAGE) JEWEL'S WEIGHT CHART (YOU CAN SEE WHERE IT READS 1# 10 oz.) (SECOND IMAGE) DADDY SAYING HELLO TO JEWEL AFTER THEY FIRST GAVE US PERMISSION TO TOUCH HER; ABOUT 2 WEEKS AFTER SHE WAS BORN.
We visited Jewel every single day that she was there, sometimes more than twice a day depending on her condition and if the staff was allowing visitors at the time. Sometimes the nurses had to close the NICU down to all parents and visitors due to a new delivered infant being transferred into the room. Anytime a new baby was brought in all visitors had to leave to secure the area and make sure there weren't any distractions or compromised sterile conditions of any kind from outsiders. So at times, even though my husband and I, were all scrubbed up and cleaned with sterile 'soaps' and we sometimes still had to leave w/o ever seeing our Jewel. This happened several times and other times we had to wait hours to see Jewel, but the wait was worth it. We never left her side without praying over her. We never left her side without leaving a new Bible verse taped to her incubator. We never left her side without telling her how much mommy and daddy loved her. We never left her side without touching her (when allowed) or holding her, caressing her, or kissing her. We constantly prayed the blood of Jesus over Jewel and asked God to not only bless and heal Jewel but to heal every baby in the NICU room. We could never just pray over Jewel; our hearts were burdened for all the babies that shared the rooms with Jewel and we spread our prayers out to include all of these sick children as well as the nurses, doctors, and staff to have the Lord's guidance and direction as they treated each baby. (FIRST IMAGE BELOW) ONE OF JEWEL'S NURSES ADJUSTING HER OXYGEN MASK. Some days it was so, so hard to watch our baby girl struggle.
(SECOND IMAGE BELOW) JEWEL RECEIVING HER VITAMINS THROUGH TUBES.
(BELOW, TOP IMAGE) JEWEL DIDN'T HAVE A GOOD DAY HERE. THE NURSES SAID SHE WAS STRUGGLING TO BREATH EVEN WITH THE OXYGEN TURNED UP TO 100%. THEY REPOSITIONED HER TO HER BELLY, WHICH THEY SAID SEEMED TO HELP SOME. WE DIDN'T TOUCH HER ON THIS DAY BUT THOUGHT IT WOULD BE BEST TO JUST LET HER REST. OF COURSE WE STILL PRAYED OVER HER AND TOLD HER WE LOVED HER! (BELOW LOWER IMAGE) THIS ISN'T A VERY GOOD PIC. THE NICU HAD ALL THE LIGHTS TURNED OFF AND ASKED US NOT TO USE FLASH. YOU CAN STILL SEE HOW TINY SHE WAS COMPARED TO THE NURSES HANDS. THE NURSE WAS GIVING JEWEL SOME MEDS. THROUGH ONE OF HER TUBES. YOU CAN SEE HOW JEWEL IS 'BOTHERED' WITH HER HANDS AND LEGS STRETCHED OUT.
Every day Jewel grew, putting on one ounce of weight here and another there. Sometimes she would lose some weight and she would seem to decline in her health. Other days she was improving well and we began to notice her growing in size. (BELOW) JEWEL RESTING. NOTICE THE SCRIPTURE VERSES WE TAPED TO HER INCUBATOR. Psalm 139:14-17, and Jeremiah 30:17. We had other healing verses taped to the other side as well along with signs like 'Mommy and Daddy love YOU!'
(BELOW) JEWEL REACHED A LITTLE OVER 3 LBS SO WE WERE FINALLY ABLE TO HOLD HER, FEED HER, AND BATHE HER.
(BELOW) POOR JEWEL HAD SOME BLEEDING FROM SUCTION THAT WAS OCCASIONALLY DONE BY HER NURSES TO CLEAR HER AIRWAY.
(BELOW TOP) JEWEL'S IMPROVING. TIME TO GRADUATE TO NICU NEXT LEVEL. HOORAY!
(BELOW BOTTOM) WE SAW JEWEL'S FACE FOR THE FIRST TIME W/O ANY TUBES ON. IT WAS ONLY A BRIEF MOMENT WHILE THE NURSES PREPARED TO GET NEW TUBING FOR HER, BUT IT WAS A BEAUTIFUL SIGHT!
After everything was all said and done, Jewel finally came home on November 29th, 2003, weighing 4 lb. 5 oz. Later when I went back for a check up with Dr. Rowe he had told me that they did a biopsy on my placenta, which showed a lot of very ugly deterioration and extreme weakness. He told me it was a good call to take Ms. Jewel when they did, otherwise he said we doubt she'd be here today.
LITTLE MS. JEWEL FINALLY HOME AT 4 LBS 5 OZ.
She was brought home on a heart/apnea monitor which we had to keep on her for the following 2 months 24/7. This machine was used to alert us of anytime Jewel failed to breathe or her pulse rate dipped too low. If this occurred a loud alarm would sound which would usually startle Jewel enough to get her breathing again, but even if it did we often aroused her by picking her up or gently awakening her to make sure she was okay. We were also ordered to make sure Jewel received Synagis injections during the flu season starting in October and going through until April to prevent serious respiratory problems. We were ordered for her to receive these injections for the first two years of her life, but after just getting them her first year, her pediatrician decided that Jewel's weight and health was well enough to discontinue further shots. This was a bad mistake because later, when Jewel turned 11 mo. old, she ended up catching the RSV virus and had to be hospitalized for 5 full days in isolation. My husband and I were furious with our pediatrician, and even though we tried to stay Christ like, we confronted her and she later apologized in a letter to us. After that incident we switched pediatricians. Months later, Jewel had to be fitted with a 'helmet' to reshape the form of her scalp. Since Jewel was in the NICU for so long she was often laying or leaning on her right side of her head, which created a very obvious and extreme 'flat' spot, known as Positional Plagiocephaly or deformational plagiocephaly. We had to get her head shape realligned by seeking the aid of a doctor that molds and resculped Jewel's helmet to apply and prevent pressure spots on her head so that she would only be resting her scalp on needed areas to regain proper headshape.
MS. JEWEL SPORTING HER NEW HELMET!
Jewel occassionally, during the flu season when children are prone to getting sick the most, Jewel gets hit pretty strong and usually has to fight the cold a lot harder than the average child. She usually does end up getting a dose or two of Albuterol breathing treatments, but other than this she is completely healed.
ABOVE IS JUST ONE OF THE MANY SHADOW BOX FRAMES I MADE. THIS FRAME SHOWS JEWEL'S VERY FIRST DIAPER AND NEXT TO THAT DIAPER I HAVE THE DIAPER SHE WAS WEARING AT THE TIME I WROTE THIS POEM; WHEN SHE TURNED ONE YEARS OLD. I TITLED THIS POEM:
THE POWER OF PRAYER
The Power of Prayer
You were born with a vision that Christ only knows;
And He birthed you here early for His glory to show.
You were tiny and thin; only a pound and a half;
And prayers to our Savior were sought on your behalf.
Loved ones all prayed and strangers did too;
To beseech our Father above for His favor on you.
Prayers never ceased and in time it did show;
God stretched His hand from Heaven to you down below.
This tiny diaper you wore as you started your life;
Shows the healing He did and the power of Christ.
For one year later this bigger diaper you wear;
Tells the miracles of Chirst and the Power of Prayer.
"Pray without ceasing." 1 Thess. 5:17
"Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding..." Prov. 3:5-6
(Side note: I felt a little guilty sharing Jewel's story because I know that so many other babies are suffering and need prayer so very much. Parents are exhausted and hurting for their little ones and I understand this. In my decision to share Jewel's story I knew that it would be to glorify Christ; in efforts that other's will be given hope through Jewel's story and God's healing of her body to full recovery. Though so many other's suffer, prayer is and will always be the answer. Even if you do not understand or are wiped out with stress and wonder; He already knows it all. He will always lead and guide you. Never stop praying, no matter how drained or tired you are. I will pray for your baby as well. I don't know why Ms. Jewel survived and other babies do not; I don't have the answers except that God does. His Word says 'NEVER stop praying'....NEVER! (1 Thess. 5:17) If you find yourself worn out and baren, with no more tears to spare, than let me know and I will continue where you left off. I've been there and I can relate to the trying times of not knowing what the next day will bring. Please leave me a note with your baby or child's name (under Contact Us) and I'll be lifting your little one up to Him. Remember that Christ loves you and your son or daughter through every suffering you face. Though you feel alone; you are not for He is with you.)
MS. JEWEL TODAY
Today Jewel is a thriving, healthy just turned 6 yr. old little girl, with no known complications of any kind. She has near perfect eye sight and is completely healed. The only complication Jewel substained was when she was 11 months old from when she caught RSV (which I shared about above). After this exposure to catching RSV Jewel was at greater risk of having asthma and therefore was sent home with a Nebulizer breathing machine with a large dose of Albuterol. 
