Romans 7:21-24
21So I find this law at work: When I want to do good, evil is right there with me. 22For in my inner being I delight in God's law; 23but I see another law at work in the members of my body, waging war against the law of my mind and making me a prisoner of the law of sin at work within my members. 24What a wretched man I am! Who will rescue me from this body of death?
This is what I am struggling with right now, actually quite a bit. I go to bed at night, head on my pillow, reflecting on the day. Then I start to feel either good or bad about the events and my interactions with them. If I'm disappointed than I tell my mind "Tomorrow will be a new day and I plan to do 'this' or 'that' with the children, and then work on 'this'....."
Yet tomorrow comes and I find that I am not working on the things I had hoped to but instead fall under the enemies temptation of MY wants, MY desires. It's a bad cycle of my wanting verses God's, and for whatever reason I am having a hard time climbing out of the enemies trap over this.
For instance one of my hearts desires is to spend more time with my kids, getting them to start early at scripture memorization, yet when I plan on working with them on this, I end up finding something else to do. A friend calls, so I'm on the phone for an hour, or dinner needs to be made so I plan this out and work on the meal for 45 min. Or I go check the mail and a neighbor stops me and visits for a lengthy amount of time.....all of this preventing me from sticking to my plan; God's plan to have my kids know His word.
Even when I have attempted to read the Bible this week I have found myself putting it off. Why is that? And where did this come from? Why can't I, being an adult mother, have better self control? Especially when I know that if I start the day with God, He will direct my steps for the remainder of the day, thus I will do the things that He desires, rather than what I find tempting.....
This has been a heavy burden and shameful part of my existence this past week. Please keep me in your prayers as I work through this, so that I can get back on track with God.
In honest humility,
~Sarah
It is amazing how easily we come off track in our lives.
ReplyDeleteBut you recognize that fact, and self awareness is the first step!
Keep turning to Him, and He will bring you to where you need to be.
Funny I just read blog about working on changing habits. It was on creating less resistance as you work on these changes and working on rewarding your self in the moment. So maybe start small with your kids...say memorize something small and dear to your heart and then just recite it with your kids when you are cooking dinner or driving in the car. Since I don't know how old they are you could also just discuss this quote with them too. Or find a time when things are quite to read with them. A time that has less of you needing to do something. Get some young aged books that have the bible lessons in them. Lay them around maybe they will just ask you to read to them. Get creative!
ReplyDeleteI came over here from blogapalooza!
You are not evil!
Love and blessings,
Diane
Something tells me that your children are reading God's "living letters" that are written on your heart. Your exhibit Grace in Action. I should know -- as I have been a recipient of it! :-)
ReplyDeleteRegarding the paragraphs: Are you writing your posts first in another place, like Microsoft Word, or are you writing them in Blogger? Are you using soft or hard returns? Are you using returns at all, or just trying to place your cursor?
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ReplyDeleteWow, I struggle with this too in just about everything I do on a daily basis. You are not alone!
ReplyDeleteBut, there are two things I have learned that I would like to pass on to you...
Concerning planning. Don't stress about it. Lol seriously, I just said that. *awaits shoe being thrown at head* X)
What I mean is, if you want God's best, give him your time and plans as well. And on days when you don't get done what you had hoped to, consider there was a higher reason. Perhaps your neighbor needed the company? Or your friend on the phone really needed someone to listen? Leave your days in God's hands. That's where we are best utilized.
The other thing is concerning God's Word... One thing I have noticed in my Bible study time is that even though I miss a day here and there it seems to work out better than it originally would have. God has a funny way of making my slack turn into a major impact.
For example; I had missed a few days of doing my study. When I finally got the time to get back to it, I found that after everything that had happened to me in those few days, I needed to hear what I read even MORE!
God is so good. And best of all, he knows our hearts. Giving all of us to Him, even the small things, is hard, but it is so amazing what He'll do with it all. :)
Hope this helps! Lol sorry for the long post.
My prayers are with you. God bless!
Oh, and about your posting paragraphs. I almost forgot.. I've noticed this too on here. But it's not you, it's Blogger. I think the only thing we can do is just separate our paragraphs...
ReplyDeleteLike this. :)
Paul also writes in his letter to the Romans that it's also a true statement that the law no longer has an eternal hold on my desires. I'm grateful for that.
ReplyDeleteSuch are the battles that every parent faces. Not just from time to time, but every day.
ReplyDeleteThe thing, I think, is to keep trying. To do what you can. "Be ye kind," the Bible says. To yourself, too.
This is certainly a struggle that all of us face. The way our culture works is in direct conflict with having the time to invest into our spiritual lives.
ReplyDeleteIt's hard.
I hear the pain in your voice as you write these words, and I want to encourage you to not be too hard on yourself. Just like running a marathon, it takes a daily discipline to get it all done. Perhaps you've taken on too much at once, you know, too big of an undertaking. Maybe if you could start off with something simple, such as a 3-5 minute Bible reading each morning, then you could build on that as you go.
Thats how the Army wins wars, one piece of ground at a time. They hold that ground, and then move to the next.
Another thing, I'm sorry I've been absent for so long. I think my schedule is back to normal and I can start participating with comments again.
Take Care.
Your are not alone sweet sister. We ALL struggle with this from time to time. If we didn't, God's Word wouldn't talk about it.
ReplyDeleteDo you know someone who would be your accountability partner? I don't have one at the moment, but I wish I did. I know that when I have someone to answer too, I'm better at keeping goals. Iron sharpens iron. We just can't walk this walk alone.
Thanks for stopping by What's Up. Come back often, even "follow" if you like. :)
I have a Kodak EasyShare Z712IS. I did have to edit the snow pictures a bit becasue the day was so gray, dark and yucky. But I do like my camera. It is easy to use and smarter than I am. That's what I need. I'm glad you liked my pics. Look at some older posts, I've got several nice pictues.
Thanks again, and let's keep ourselves accountable!