(This honest poem was hard for me to post)
I don’t recognize the girl in the mirror I once was lost but later found,
By You Lord with my collection of frowns;
You changed me from the mirror I viewed,
Yet today I see a different one consumed.
Satan has stolen this reflection of You living in me,
The face in the mirror of Us TOGETHER I no longer see;
Of who I am in You, where did I let go?
Why and how this happened, I am still trying to unfold.
Satan has taken me back again,
Yet my goal has always been to have you as my best friend.
Why? Why? Why? I ask myself day and night, Did I get tricked into the enemies delight? Lord please forgive my lost soul within, Again my love is for You alone to win;
I seek to know You, love and teach others, Yet how do I do this when I act undercover?
As a follower of You, I claim, but In reality things have not been the same.
I once knew where You and I stood;
We were a perfect match so whole and full of joy;
Yet Satan came along; now I'm feeling a fool.
I look in the mirror and see an empty fogged face;
Filled with questions, full of disgrace;
Filled with lost feelings; an empty soul,
Yet all I desire is to have You to hold.
I am an image in the mirror,
one that Satan longs to devour;
Has he won? How do I know?
Please rescue me Jesus; Please rescue this soul.
The girl in the mirror, she does not look familiar,
I'm ashamed; I can't look...it's all too peculiar.
Once she was found and You saved her so sweet,
She lived in contentment, peace and love,
So why does she now question so much from above?
Lord, I still love Thee, though I continue to fail;
I seek You, though everything in me is so weak and frail.
Jesus please meet me where I am at;
Please rescue this image in the mirror so I can see You staring back;
This image I don’t recognize in my life where I am;
Please salvage me once again as part of Your superior PERFECT plan.
Toss a life preserver or walk to me on water;
I’ll look for your arm as I sink down further,
I need help once, yes yet again.....;
How do I always manage to get in this quicksand of sin?
I hate, HATE, HATE, the enemy for his strikes!
You are my only answer, my Hope;
I long for your restoration, so please throw me a rope;
You say 'Forgive 77 X 7'?
How?; when I’m certain I’ve exceeded this number of exception.
Will You pardon my heart past these numbers again?
Will You excuse my soul for this pitiful trend?
Ashamed and awful I feel;
Yet I return to You only and I ALWAYS WILL.
The plans you have made for my life...
You have made them so perfect, so precise, by Your eyes;
I was following close in obedience, willing and wise,
Yet along the way the reflection in this mirror I now don’t recognize.
The image in the mirror; I try to wipe away the fog;
To see a clearer ‘me’, resembling You, but there's still a thick smog;
The image I see staring back is such a haze;
I can’t clearly see You within me, as I squint to refocus my gaze,
Who is this girl in the mirror that looks back at me?
Can You, will you please restore her? Can you once again set me free?
Can you help forgive me and help me cleave to You once again?
Can you help remove the fog in the mirror; this foggy mirror of sin?
When I look through this glass I hope to see You not me;
so that I know I am acting as a reflection of Thee.
Please don't abandon me Jesus for the headaches I cause
I sometimes feel at such an awful loss
But I KNOW AND TRUST, though my feelings don't show it,
that you are my REFUGE, My ROCK and I KNOW IT!!