Angels watching over us, Black Bear and our wedding Anniversary.

No, this doesn't have anything to do with an actual bear, however I do have so many things I want to share but where is the time? I'll start with 'Black Bear'. 'Black Bear' is what we (the kids and I named our small black SUV truck, and our white car is named 'White Wolf'.). This past weekend we drove to Dallas for my half-sisters 'Welcome Home from Iraq Party'. On the return back I was ever so tired, I pushed myself to hard trying to make the trip to Dallas and then return to Houston to make it to my twin nieces High School graduation, but I missed it. I was so upset. Here's how it went down: When I arrived in Dallas my step-mother, bless her heart, set us up in our usual room with a full sized bed, blankets, and anything else we needed, but when the kids and I went to sleep that night little Jesse snuggled up so close to me and had his 3 yr. old knee poked right into my back bone.(he was supposed to be sleeping in a comfy playpen next to the bed, but he refused; go figure. LOL) which made it impossible for me to get a decent sleep. I tried several times to push him aside but with not such luck; he only seemed to get closer to me. This made it impossible for me to get a much needed sleep. I awoke beyond exhausted and with a slight back ache that I kept to myself. We went to the party as planned and to make it on time back to Houston we left the party at 2Pm to make my nieces High School graduation. But I was tired. The lack of sleep and hypnotic road trip left me feeling very sleepy. Low and behold a Fair Field Sheriff's Police Officer pulled me over. The sheriff was very nice (didn't even give me a ticket) and told me that the dispatcher's had several 9-1-1 phone calls stating that my truck was recklessly driving and swerving on the highway. I had no idea. He told me I was lucky to be alive because after he received the dispatch of where I was last located he sped ahead to see if I would pass him. Sure enough I did and he said he saw me swerving and almost hit an under bridge huge concrete pole. He said I must have somehow been startled because at just the right time I jerked the truck to avoid smacking into a concrete pole. He told me he almost saw me flip the truck over. My answer to the Sheriff? I didn't even know it but I was falling asleep at the wheel. He said he could tell by my disposition that I looked very tired. He called for an EMT to get my blood pressure and had another officer drive my truck, with my kids and I in it, to the Fair Field Sheriffs Department for someone to pick me up. I called my husband who (bless his poor little heart was supposed to be sleeping for his long shift the following day) drove the 3+ hours to come collect myself, Jewell and 'Mr. Happy'. I immediately apologized to him for having to take the drive and for almost killing us. He was very, very gentle, though he later expressed deserved frustration and irritation. I was very sorry and humiliated. While waiting for my husband at the Sheriffs Department the officer informed me that falling asleep at the wheel is almost as bad at driving drunk; for you are unaware of your surroundings and can't control your movements. I had no idea. Do you know what bothered me the most? Not the I was unknowingly falling asleep. Not that I was even swerving. But that my kids were telling me that it was fun. FUN! Little did they know that I put their lives in danger but that they thought I was doing it on purpose. I apologized to the two of them and explained that mommy was drifting into sleep and I wasn't doing it on purpose at all. If anything were to have happened to my kids I just don't think I would ever be able to forgive myself! So then on Sunday, our 6 year Anniversary, my husband called 'in' to his employer that he couldn't make it to work and him and I took the 3+ hour trip back to Fair Field to get our truck and then drove the 3+ hours back home. It was a miserable way to spend our Anniversary, especially when my husband said he had something special he planned for me after he got off of work, but now they were void. It's okay, in my opinion, to realize the error of our ways; to admit when we fault and to recognize and learn from our mistakes. Which is what I did. I was not proud in the least. I was embarrassed, oh so embarrassed and I hated myself that I would put my kids lives in danger like that. Sometimes I think we push ourselves too hard and I learned that it is okay to say 'no' even when we want to say 'yes'. I over scheduled our plans, trying to do it all and risked a lot in doing so. Our Anniversary was shot for the most part, but we ended up having a decent sleep at least once we returned home. What did I learn? I learned that God does not call us to do everything all of the time, but wants us to slow down, enjoy moments that we can but not if we are pushing ourselves too hard. I also learned that the next time I don't feel rested well enough not to head out for a 4-5 hour long drive. That was completely my fault and I should have known better! So to everyone reading this please take it from me; it's okay, good in fact, to say 'No' at times and not over commit oneself in your plans. Praise God for His protection for myself and my precious little ones. May you all learn from my lesson. PS. I'll post photo's of my sister's return from Iraq at a later post.