A Card Game of Skill or A Game of Guilt?? You tell me.

Scroll down to the bottom of the page and click 'pause on the Playlist' to hear Kenny Rogers song that went well (and funny) with this slide show. NOTE: **This House Party: 'Card Me at the Door' was a Christian online writing project to benefit the organization 'Gift Card Giver' which collects gift cards and gives them to those in need. This is the reason I picked this Kenny Rogers 'The Gambler' song to go with my photo's of my card game. In no way does the song define who I am though. There's a line in the song that sings 'You gotta know which cards to give away, and which one's to keep....' which fit well with this project. So even if you have an extra $2 on an old gift card or several gift cards with left over cents on them, you can send them there where they will used for a very good cause. You can also get information by visiting High Calling Blogs for ways to get involved.

MY HOUSE CARD PARTY It was I, my 5 yr. old daughter and 3 yr. old son. They were forming an alliance against me from the beginning. I could tell from that first look they exchanged to one another, as if I didn’t notice! I was suspicious at first but in time I grew more and more guarded. I had my Memory Cards nearby and had a good pile of Goldfish crackers in my stash, but when I turned to get the camera and then turned back around some of my cards must have been taken because I swear I had more. That’s when all heck broke loose. I decided then and there that I will not be victim as the loser of this card game. I put my camera down and kept my eye on the ball, watching each and every fish, toy, animal, or other image that was turned over and unmatched, careful to observe where they were laid back down on the carpet. Next it was my turn again….I was certain I had my eye on some of the cards, and I was getting excited knowing that I ’had’ them….I mean how much memory can a 3 yr. old hold over Mommy???? But then, to my dismay, I carefully flipped the first card over but it wasn’t the card I thought it was (a tricycle image)….huh….That’s odd because I was thinking it would be the train picture. Yet I was determined and kept my poker face on, not showing any signs that I was bewildered. I flipped the next card only to find out that it was also something different.

Confusion flooded me as I scratched me head. I knew it! I knew there was deceit in the air and now I could smell it. I took out my best trick yet so that when it was Hannah’s turn I hollered ‘Kids LISTEN! I think I hear Daddy's car pulling up in the driveway! Go quick to greet him at the door!’ They both went for the bait and I quickly flipped several cards over to regain the upper hand of Memory knowledge. I know what I did was a low blow, but I couldn’t take any chances. Now I had them and knew right where the remaining cards were. Or did I? Little did I know how tricky these two villains were….suddenly I was the fool as little Jesse, later towards the end of the game, pulled out the ultimate scam. He squirmed and said ‘Mommy I gotta go pee, I gotta go pee quick….’ So in my fear of having a carpet with urine on it, I quickly jumped up, rushing him off to the hall restroom to help quickly get him unclothed to relieve himself and when he was finished he ran back like lightning to the game. But OH, the Horror, the Shame, and ruthlessness of these two….when I returned from the potty, even more of my cards were missing and not just that but now my stash had also been preyed upon.

I knew then that I was a goner. I had no proof. There were no witnesses and my ‘baby cam’ wasn’t turned on to reveal any evidence of pressing ‘charges’. I was duped by a very smart and conniving 3 & 5 yr. old. The biggest mystery I still have is why there are 3 leftover cards with no matches to be found. In the end I lost, fair and square I suppose because every card game has suspicion of who to trust and who not to, but little do they know that Mommy got the last word; even though they had most of the goldfish stash, Mommy bought her own package the very next day and ate them all to myself! Top buying your own bag of goldfish crackers Hannah and Little Jesse!!! See if you can do that one?!

Are you addicted to the Internet?

Be honest now. I read this article this morning by Lamar Stonecypher, and found it very interesting. And it got me wondering about some things and wondering about my own consumption with being online. Here is the article: "Are you addicted to the Internet?: "Are you compulsive in your use of the internet? Do you devote time to your online pursuits that would better be devoted to your family or career? Do you get up in the wee hours of the morning to check your email, or your favorite website? According to Psychologist Kimberly S. Young, if the answer to one or more of these questions is yes, you might be suffering from Internet Addiction Disorder. She writes that "the largest [group] of respondents who met this adapted criteria and were most likely to develop an addiction to the internet were middle aged females and those (both men and women) who were currently unemployed or part-time employees." Here are some signs to think about when wondering if you may actually be an addict:

1) Feel preoccupied with the internet (think about it while offline) 2) Feel a need to use the internet with increasing amounts of time in order to achieve satisfaction; 3) Have an inability to control your internet use; 4) Feel restless or irritable when attempting to cut down or stop Internet use; 5) Use the Internet as a way of escaping from problems or of relieving a poor mood (feelings of helplessness, guilt, anxiety or depression); Are you looking for a social boost or 'fix'? Are you lonely and use the Internet to fill this void? 6) Lie to family members or friends to conceal the extent of involvement with the Internet; 7) Jeopardize or risk the loss of a significant relationships (spouse, children, siblings....), job, educational or career opportunity because of strong desire to be on Internet; 8) Keep returning even after spending an excessive amount of time already used online; 9) Go through withdrawal when offline (increased depression, anxiety); 10) Stay on-line longer than originally intended."

What do you think? Do you think many people are overly addicted and that it's become way over used by some? Especially Christians? Are we online more than we should be instead of spending this time with our Savior, in His Word and following His desire to be with our families? Or do you think you're amount online is fine? That you balance it well and if so how do you plan your Internet time? Do you have a schedule that doesn't affect your home life? If so, what is that schedule?

THE GIRL IN THE MIRROR

(This honest poem was hard for me to post)

I don’t recognize the girl in the mirror I once was lost but later found,

By You Lord with my collection of frowns;

You changed me from the mirror I viewed,

Yet today I see a different one consumed.

Satan has stolen this reflection of You living in me,

The face in the mirror of Us TOGETHER I no longer see;

Of who I am in You, where did I let go?

Why and how this happened, I am still trying to unfold.

Satan has taken me back again,

Yet my goal has always been to have you as my best friend.

Why? Why? Why? I ask myself day and night, Did I get tricked into the enemies delight? Lord please forgive my lost soul within, Again my love is for You alone to win;

I seek to know You, love and teach others, Yet how do I do this when I act undercover?

As a follower of You, I claim, but In reality things have not been the same.

I once knew where You and I stood;

We were a perfect match so whole and full of joy;

Yet Satan came along; now I'm feeling a fool.

I look in the mirror and see an empty fogged face;

Filled with questions, full of disgrace;

Filled with lost feelings; an empty soul,

Yet all I desire is to have You to hold.

 I am an image in the mirror,

one that Satan longs to devour;

Has he won? How do I know?

Please rescue me Jesus; Please rescue this soul.

The girl in the mirror, she does not look familiar,

I'm ashamed; I can't look...it's all too peculiar.

Once she was found and You saved her so sweet,

She lived in contentment, peace and love,

So why does she now question so much from above?

Lord, I still love Thee, though I continue to fail;

 I seek You, though everything in me is so weak and  frail.

Jesus please meet me where I am at;

Please rescue this image in the mirror so I can see You staring back;

This image I don’t recognize in my life where I am;

Please salvage me once again as part of Your superior PERFECT plan.

 Toss a life preserver or walk to me on water;

I’ll look for your arm as I sink down further,

I need help once, yes yet again.....;

How do I always manage to get in this quicksand of sin?

I hate, HATE, HATE, the enemy for his strikes!

You are my only answer, my Hope;

I long for your restoration, so please throw me a rope;

You say 'Forgive 77 X 7'?

How?; when I’m certain I’ve exceeded this number of exception.

Will You pardon my heart past these numbers again?

 Will You excuse my soul for this pitiful trend?

Ashamed and awful I feel;

Yet I return to You only and I ALWAYS WILL.

The plans you have made for my life...

You have made them so perfect, so precise, by Your eyes;

I was following close in obedience, willing and wise,

Yet along the way the reflection in this mirror I now don’t recognize.

The image in the mirror; I try to wipe away the fog;

To see a clearer ‘me’, resembling You, but there's still a thick smog;

The image I see staring back is such a haze;

I can’t clearly see You within me, as I squint to refocus my gaze,

Who is this girl in the mirror that looks back at me?

 Can You, will you please restore her? Can you once again set me free?

Can you help forgive me and help me cleave to You once again?

Can you help remove the fog in the mirror; this foggy mirror of sin?

When I look through this glass I hope to see You not me;

so that I know I am acting as a reflection of Thee.

Please don't abandon me Jesus for the headaches I cause

I sometimes feel at such an awful loss

But I KNOW AND TRUST, though my feelings don't show it,

that you are my REFUGE, My ROCK and I KNOW IT!!

You can visit RAP (Random Acts of Poetry) led and inspired by L.L. Barkat at HighCallingBlogs for even more amazing poems.

Introducing The New 'Pledge of Allegiance'

The poem (emailed to me by a dear friend) below is said to have been written by a 15 year old student in Arizona. Talk about separation between church and state huh?

The New Pledge of Allegiance

Now I sit me down in school

Where praying is against the rule

For this great nation under God

Finds mention of Him very odd.

If Scripture now the class recites,

It violates the Bill of Rights.

And anytime my head I bow

Becomes a Federal matter now.

Our hair can be purple, orange or green,

That's no offense; it's a freedom scene.

The law is specific, the law is precise.

Prayers spoken aloud are a serious vice.

For praying in a public hall

Might offend someone with no faith at all.

In silence alone we must meditate,

God's name is prohibited by the state.

We're allowed to cuss and dress like freaks,

And pierce our noses, tongues and cheeks.

They've outlawed guns, but FIRST the Bible.

To quote the Good Book makes me liable.

We can elect a pregnant Senior Queen,

And the 'unwed daddy,' our Senior King.

It's "inappropriate" to teach right from wrong,

We're taught that such "judgments" do not belong.

We can get our condoms and birth controls,

Study witchcraft, vampires and totem poles.

But the Ten Commandments are not allowed,

No word of God must reach this crowd.

It's scary here I must confess,

When chaos reigns the school's a mess.

So, Lord, this silent plea I make:

Should I be shot; My soul please take!

Amen

2nd Timothy 1:8

Luke 9:26

My husband will probably kill me, but.....

My husband will probably kill me but I just couldn't resist posting these photo's of my kids, mainly of my little 3 yr. old son. He was following along with his big sisters orders of playing 'dress up' and house in the backyard. She helped him dress in her cheerleading get-up and 'high heels'.....he went along with no resistance and it was the funniest thing in the world to me. I just had to post these, even though I don't know if afterwards my husband will destroy my camera for good....just too cute!!!

10 Simple Rules For Dating My Daughter

My good friend's husband had given this poster to me awhile back and tonight I stumbled across it. It gave me a good laugh in the mist of trials and thought I'd share the humor. 10 Simple Rules For Dating My Daughter

• Rule 1: If you pull into my driveway and honk you'd better be delivering a package, because you're sure not picking anything up.
• Rule 2: You do not touch my daughter in front of me. You may glance at her, so long as you do not peer at anything below her neck. If you cannot keep your eyes or hands off of my daughter's body, I will remove them.
• Rule 3: I am aware that it is considered fashionable for boys of your age to wear their trousers so loosely that they appear to be falling off their hips. Please don't take this as an insult, but you and all of your friends are complete idiots. Still, I want to be fair and open minded about this issue, so I propose this compromise: You may come to the door with your underwear showing and your pants ten sizes too big, and I will not object. However, in order to ensure that your clothes do not, in fact, come off during the course of your date with my daughter, I will take my electric nail gun and fasten your trousers securely in place to your waist.
• Rule 4: I'm sure you've been told that in today's world, sex without utilizing a "barrier method" of some kind can kill you. Let me elaborate, when it comes to sex, I am the barrier, and I will kill you.
• Rule 5: It is usually understood that in order for us to get to know each other, we should talk about sports, politics, and other issues of the day. Please do not do this. The only information I require from you is an indication of when you expect to have my daughter safely back at my house, and the only word I need from you on this subject is "early."
• Rule 6: I have no doubt you are a popular fellow, with many opportunities to date other girls. This is fine with me as long as it is okay with my daughter. Otherwise, once you have gone out with my little girl, you will continue to date no one but her until she is finished with you. If you make her cry, I will make you cry.
• Rule 7: As you stand in my front hallway, waiting for my daughter to appear, and more than an hour goes by, do not sigh and fidget. If you want to be on time for the movie, you should not be dating. My daughter is putting on her makeup, a process that can take longer than painting the Golden Gate Bridge. Instead of just standing there, why don't you do something useful, like changing the oil in my car?
• Rule 8:The following places are not appropriate for a date with my daughter: Places where there are beds, sofas, or anything softer than a wooden stool. Places where there are no parents, policemen, or nuns within eyesight. Places where there is darkness. Places where there is dancing, holding hands, or happiness. Places where the ambient temperature is warm enough to induce my daughter to wear shorts, tank tops, midriff T-shirts, or anything other than overalls, a sweater, and a goose down parka - zipped up to her throat. Movies with a strong romantic or sexual theme are to be avoided; movies which features chain saws are okay. Hockey games are okay. Old folks homes are better.
• Rule 9: Do not lie to me. I may appear to be a potbellied, balding, middle-aged, dimwitted has-been. But on issues relating to my daughter, I am the all-knowing, merciless god of your universe. If I ask you where you are going and with whom, you have one chance to tell me the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth. I have a shotgun, a shovel, and five acres behind the house. Do not trifle with me.
• Rule 10: Be afraid. Be very afraid. It takes very little for me to mistake the sound of your car in the driveway for a chopper coming in over a rice paddy near Hanoi. When my Agent Orange starts acting up, the voices in my head frequently tell me to clean the guns as I wait for you to bring my daughter home. As soon as you pull into the driveway you should exit your car with both hands in plain sight. Speak the perimeter password, announce in a clear voice that you have brought my daughter home safely and early, then return to your car - there is no need for you to come inside. The camouflaged face at the window is mine.

It Is Time For Battle!

Life has been a mess lately, with immediate family, extended family, friends, neighbors, even the garage door opener. But especially family. Our relationships have been torn, beaten, tested, and bounced around like a volley ball, tossing from one 'hoping to win' team to the other team who also hopes to win. But in our case it's been our side against the enemies. And I can't stress enough the multiple times the enemy has made a direct dive with the ball against us, trying to tear us down, mock us, and laugh in our face at losing. 1st Peter 4:12-16 He's been active and pretending to play innocent but his act is not overlooked and we recognize him through everything he throws our way. Yet God.....yet God.... God, we believe and trust is in the mist; having his angels fight the spiritual battles that rage in the spiritual warfare against us and over our heads. Rev. 9:11 We actually have this statue (photo'd above)in our home of Satan being overpowered by God's mightiest archangel Michael, placed along side our prayer box (The top drawer of the prayer box is to list prayer requests and under that drawer is another drawer for the time and day prayers were answered, knowing that He does in fact answer and meet all our needs.). This statue is a reminder to me that God has a world, a different world, over our heads, fighting the fights we ask of him on our behalf. We know Satan's future and that God is bigger than everything the enemy throws our way. We trust God is more powerful and has muscles that are as huge as the oceans are deep to fight and punch Satan back to where he resides; in hell. Though I have only selected a few to pray for specific things we are facing in our family, including my marriage, I still ask you as readers that you will pray for strength, patience, faithfulness, and healing as God restores our family to wholeness and that what Satan meant for evil God will use for His good. James 1:2-4 Forgive me for my absence from being online and keeping up with every one's sites and blogs with making regular comments for a bit. We love all your amazing blogs, posts, and articles. They are very uplifting and bless us more than you realize. For now I feel God is calling me to draw closer to Him through reading His word and falling to my knees in prayer. My time will be extremely divided and in this I chose to honor God and what He calls me to do. I will share the praise reports with you all as I know He is faithful to see us through. We are not blind to the fact that these tests don't mean more things won't strike against us down the road, but through these tests we will become stronger and more reliant on Him. Thank you in advance for your prayers. God is an awesome God, and no matter what is thrown your way, know that He will see you through to the other side, stronger and more mighty than before! Praise Him even through the trials. Worship and thank Him in advance for the miracles and healing that only He can provide knowing that He will never abandon you. Hebrews 13:5-6

How do I explain to a 5 year old??

So the craft we did on Hannah's mirror last week on Psalms 139:14 was a fun thing for her. Hannah was so excited about this, however, days later (today) she sat and pondered asking the question: 'I'm fearfully made? So I have fear in me?' I didn't know quite how to answer that one to her level except to say that 'No sweetie, God created you in love and that came with His heart-felt interest.', which obviously she didn't 'get'. I applaud Hannah though because she actually takes into account and questions the scriptures and their meanings to gain a better understanding at just the age 5, but I still am at a loss on how to explain the 'fearfully' part of the verse. She understands the 'wonderfully made' part, but is stumped by the 'fearfully' portion. How does one explain this to a young kindergartner? For now I am praying about how to answer this at her level as she waits upon mommie's wisdom.....pray, pray, pray, so that I can get it through to her, in her mind, at her age, at her understanding. I know God will guide me with an answer and I hate to ask Him to hurry but I fear if I don't have a response SOON, she'll get frustrated and want to clean off our 'mirror craft.'

Our Cool Craft

My sister Elizabeth, from Seattle, sent my kids some glass and window markers months ago. We decided to use the markers this week by applying Psalms 139:14 on Hannah's dresser mirror. This is a Biblical scripture that I've felt Hannah has really needed to realize about who she is in Christ.

Of course the marker will come off with soap and water in due time, but for now I am working with Hannah on memorizing scriptures which build her confidence and self-esteem. She has several memorized but this verse has really stuck out to me and I really want her to see it every day she looks at herself in the mirror. (Although she can't much see herself in the mirror anyway unless she stands on her pink stool, and even then the mirror is so painted over....as you can see for yourself.) It was a fun craft for the day and unique in it's own way. I think Hannah really got a 'kick' out of it! Little Jesse helped some, but I had to keep a watchful eye on his paint job. :D

God teaches me beautifully, sometimes in the most simplistic ways.

Long post? Yes. Worth it? Yes. Allow me to back up a bit if I may…. At the end of this month it will be one full year that we first told my 5 year old (age 4 then) physician about Hannah having severe headaches accompanied with vomiting. When we brought it up last February Hannah was complaining often and it was random; sometimes she'd get intense headaches while in her car booster seat on a drive, walking around Target, in the middle of playing….it was all so hit and miss on when they'd occur and for how long. So during the past year the Dr. had prescribed various meds from allergy prescriptions to antibiotics; but her headaches still continued and sometimes were even worse than before. Her worse headache was fairly recent, during Christmas break when she had her first friend sleepover. Hannah started to get really sick with major headaches that she ran to the bathroom twice to vomit; only nothing produced. We heard the noise and she definitely felt sick, but she never actually vomited that time. However later that night she did have her first brief 'black out', stating that all she could see was darkness, though it was well lit in the bathroom. Again I took her back to the physician where it was decided to schedule an MRI of Hannah's brain.

Dr. Teir wouldn't have normally scheduled one but because of Hannah's severe premature birth she was becoming concerned that possibly things were now catching up with her and affecting her. (Hannah was born via C-section when I was in my 27^th week of pregnancy. She arrived weighing One Pound, Nine Oz. and 11" Long. She stayed in the NICU for 3 months. For some reason my uterus was rejecting her, and the amniotic fluid was decreasing around her so they had me on hospital bed rest from week 20 through week 27, when they finally said they couldn't wait any longer and had to get her out.) Forgive the first image. She was in NICU for 3 months and the guidelines asked that no camera 'flash' be used when taking photos. It was important that we not stimulate her with anything, not even touch. The second image is when her eye patches and 'plastic coating was removed' (that plastic was due to her skin being paper thin so they had to do what they could to keep moistue on her). We were allowed to use the flash on our camera during this time. The third image is the actual diaper Hannah wore at being 1 ½ pounds. We asked the nurse for a box of these for her 'Treasure Box' to remind us how much God answers prayers and performs miracles.

Before Hannah's MRI, Dr Tier suggested another routine eye exam done on her, which she passed & needs no corrective lenses at all. So that was crossed off our list. Then it was time for the MRI. The doctor ordered Hannah two Volume Sedatives to relax and calm her, as the MRI would take about 1 hour and she would have to stay completely still. So the MRI Tech allowed me to enter the room with Hannah and I must say Hannah did great by not displaying any fear and she cooperated very well with the ladies instructions. I was able to sit on the MRI table with her and hold her hand, but the sedative medication was not taking affect; she continuously moved and shifted causing a 1 hr. MRI to turn into a painful 3 hour time frame. I kept whispering for her to stay still, stop moving, close her eyes, relax, and try to fall asleep. But she fought it and I could tell her body was tense with resistance as she gripped my hand. I too was getting stiff and uncomfortable because I had to sit on the table just as still as she was, so I really wanting things to be over with. So during these quiet moments I had plenty of reflecting time with God. As I mentally spoke to Him in the MRI room he was telling me how my mothering Hannah to be still is in the same manner He often fathers me with: "Peace be still" and I too fight His command; I fidget, squirm about, try to get things done, stress, worry, become over sensitive, and the whole time God is calmly reminding me, yet I sense a commanding firmness of "PEACE, BE STILL!". Mark 4:38-10 "38 But He was in the stern, asleep on the cushion. And they woke Him and said to Him, "Teacher, do you not care that we are perishing?" 39 And He awoke and rebuked the wind and said to the sea, "Peace! Be still!" And the wind ceased, and there was a great calm. 40 He said to them, "Why are you so afraid? Have you still no faith?"

Photo's in order: 1) Hannah getting nervous for MRI Preparation. 2) Hannah stayed 'strong' while 'fitted' to keep her head straight. You can see the head brace around her neck and head.3) The MRI tech gave her a break so she could show Hannah the blurry images and why it is so important to stay absolutely still. (This was before the 2^nd sedative was given.) 4) Second sedative knocks her out STRONG and nothing arouses her, even after the tech took all the equipment off of her. 5) Drive home; Hannah was in such a daze from the 'drugs' as you can see here.

So here I was feeling convicted and at the same time hypocritical that I wasn't doing as I preached to my daughter. The MRI Tech entered the room and asked if the Doctor had given me a second Volume sedative for Hannah, because she simply was not getting clear enough images due to her constant moving. I told her she only gave me two so I have just the one left. She suggested I give it to her though it was too early. I kind of agreed because of Hannah's 'fighting' to relax. S I did, and man, oh man, after the second pill, and 5 min. later she was OUT cold. I felt the Holy Spirit in me speak in confirmation through Hannah's final resting 'Peace! Be still.' It wasn't a firm tone but a soft, 'this is what I mean when I speak these words' tone, that I will take care of it all if you just obey me'.

I looked down at how Hannah was so still, motionless, so quiet, so relaxed and peaceful, nothing stirred her or awoke her as the MRI tech spoke to me through speakers from her windowed room and finalized the scan. From then on the technician was able to get very clear pictures of Hannah's brain, all because she finally stopped mentally fighting the sedative which was causing her tiredness. The first one SHOULD have worked; the MG was set for age and weight so was strong enough to have done the trick, but it was her brain that didn't allow her to yield to it; in the same way my brain often fights God when I clearly know He is directing my steps to 'Be Still and Know….' Sometimes our minds, just like Hannah's mind was fighting the medication, ours do the same thing with our Lord. In fact even the word states 'The battle is in the mind.' Whatever we allow our brains to do and who we listen to is subject to our act along with it. Sometimes we listen to our own self with our own design about how the days should go, sometimes we listen to the enemy; when we should always and only listen to God's, the One and Only, the Alpha and Omega, the One who will always know what's best.

When Hannah finally allowed her mind to submit to the sedative, she was so still and the work on her was able to be accomplished with amazing results all within 20 min. So think about that... if she (just as all of us) would have submitted earlier things would not have last almost 3 painful hours, however I'm glad they did. This allowed God to let me be a witness to the example of what wrestling with submission does. In the same way, we must all be trained this way; learn to submit and not fight when God directs our ways yet even if we do, He will be patiently watching and waiting as we do things OUR way, until finally we lift up our arms and say 'Okay, I give in…..' and humbly decide to submit to His ways. And it doesn't have to be big way; usually when I know God is calling me to do something it's fairly simple and painless; but still I am his daughter and I am REQUIRED to listen and obey, whether little orders or huge ones are given.

After this experience I knew what had to be done with various things in my personal life and I prayed on the drive home. I began by thanking God for His tolerance of me. Then I asked that He would forgive me for not obeying his orders of 'Be Still', when He instructs me to follow His will instead of my own. So now I turn the tables on you; can you examine in your own life what God has been asking you to submit to Him over, that He's still patiently waiting for you to do? And then ask yourself 'Why aren't I submitting to Him in this area?

Max Lucado's 'Ephesians'

Last night was the first day of my sister (Mary)'s bible study at her home. We began with an 'ice breaker' announcing who we were and what we hoped to get out of these bible study group. We had a nice time getting to know one another and though it was a brief first session we were each given a Life Lessons Book written by Max Lucado entitled 'Ephesians'.

'Ephesians' seems to be a great first book; it states on the back cover that Paul reminds us that Jesus longs for the day He will be united with the church-his bride in all her beauty. Paul shows us how to walk worthy of Christ as we live our life for God and through salvation we become a pat of God's family, a place where we can experience true belonging.

My sister began in prayer, an ice breaker, and then asked for a volunteer to read the Introduction to Max Lucado's book. If states:

(I paraphrased it, but you'll get the drift.)

"Is there anything more elegant than a wedding? Candles, family, dear friends filling the pews. Ahhh, the glory of a wedding. And though the groom is present, the main star for the day is the bride. For the bride upstages the groom. The groom was fine as he stayed composed at the alter, but when he saw his bride he wept. The main message was of a beautiful wedding and that Jesus died for not only our sins but to one day be a the groomsman and take his bride; the church. The letter of Ephesians celebrates the beauty of the church-the Bride of Christ. From our perspective the church isn't always pretty. We see backbiting, squabbling and division. Heaven sees this is well, but much more. Heaven sees the church as cleansed and made holy by Christ. Heaven see the church ascending to heaven. Heaven sees the Bride wearing the spotless gown of Jesus Christ, which He longs for.

It's enough to make one weep."

I sure wish I were able to write as well as Lucado, but that's not the point here.

The book study sounds amazing and I look forward to doing all the lessons to make myself whole and pure for being His bride (in unison with the church) for the future time He comes to collect those of us. And I thought I was impatient about meeting the man of my dreams! Jesus has had to wait how long???

After all was said and done my sister said something that was very intense and overwhelming. She said in closing before she prayed "The more you are in Christ, the less insecure you are. In the same way, the less you spend with Him, the more insecure you are which shows you are still in the 'world'." I heard one woman ask her to repeat that, and I too found myself writing it down. What a powerful statement to end the night with, not to mention typing this out and printing to put on a self-made bookmark. We all, at some time or another, struggle with insecurity, so why not let Christ remove this from us by?

When it rains; it pours.

Yesterday started off.....well I can't even pretend to say it started off good, because the truth is that it didn't. I woke up late to get my son to preschool on time so the start of the morning was a complete rush (never fun), then I came home to 'home school' Hannah (my 5 year old) which I had forgotten to get organized ahead of time. When I returned home I realized I had accidentally left little Jesse's lunch in the fridge, so Hannah and I rushed back up to his school to deliver his yummy meal. Thankfully both my small ones had their baths last night..... and what does that have to do with this opening paragraph? It doesn't (glad I have your attention), except to refer to my title that 'When it rains, it pours!' After I returned home from dropping of little Jesse's lunch I went to get some tissue from the hall restroom. I immediately smelt a very foul odor. It didn't take me long to learn that the toilet and even the bathtub had some brown, gross residue all over it, but I had no idea what it was. So I opened the shower curtain to get a closer look, then sniffed around like a hound dog on a mission. It wasn't more than 15 seconds when it came to me: 'This smells like one of little Jesse's....(sniff, sniff, again....) gross diaper withdrawals (to put it properly) from when he was younger. Ewww! Yuck! What the heck???!!!!' I then saw something too unimaginable for my eyes to fathom; the gross residue was bubbling UP from the bathtub drain right before my eyes. As quickly as I could I ran through the hall and into the master bathroom, and sure enough it was there; backed up, underground sewage was coming up from underground and into our home. It was turning my very blue toilet water (I use the blue toilet tablets to disinfect and keep odors away) into murky, brown, nasty, disgusting sewage. Neither bathroom was usable after that point so thankfully, since I am friends with all of our direct neighbors, I asked one of them if (when me or the kids needed) we could use her restrooms. Of course she was wonderful about it and it was of no burden to her. Praise God I know and love my neighbors because 4 times during the day I had to rush over there, once running while I raced 3 yr. old Jesse trying to get him to the potty on time; naturally we didn't make it and urine was not just racing down him, but me as well. Great!! Juuuust lovely! So then I decided to pull out the left over diapers I had of his from awhile back before he turned 3, and that took care of one problem. At least I knew if Hannah, being 5, had to go there would be enough of an advance warning. So problems were getting under control. All I could do from that point on was email my husband at work to inform him of the bad news and wait for his call on what I should do. While waiting I did some academic work with Hannah, did her role play from her 'God's Little Princess Devotional Bible', helped her practice printing upper and lower case letters, and worked on her reading (BOB books). She was beginning to tire out so I allowed her a 20 min. break which I used to pick up some from the kitchen. My house is usually spotless, organized and I am addicted to candles, and all types of clean scents to fill my home. So today was not a good start for a good day. The house smelt like poop, and therefore it felt dirty to me. I turned the hot water on to wipe off the counters, tables, and chairs and after standing there with the cold running water for over a minute I was wondering 'Why isn't the water getting warm? Hmmmm.....' I kept it running a bit more and it was still freezing cold. So I went to our indoor laundry room where the water heater was and noticed the pilot light was not on. I followed the directions to ignite it (thankfully I've done this before so I knew what I was doing) and although the pilot light turned on, it immediately flickered back off once I let go of the 'ignite' and 'reset' buttons. I continued the steps 3 different times and every time I let go of the button, the flame disappeared. (SIGH!) Yes, that was exactly what I did; gave out a huge sigh of frustration. There was poop coming through both toilets, both bathtubs, and now there is only freezing cold water. How can a person clean with cold water? What kind of germs will that kill? I turned the stove on to boil some water for the small amount of dishes we had but every time I started the gas stove, it only made the 'click, click, click' sound but never lit. At this point I was beside myself. 'Are you KIDDING ME?!' was my thought pattern. The day was a mess and I was afraid to try to do anything else. Hannah was following me around like a little duck would and as I turned away from the stove I bumped into her (this often happens with little ones who trail behind your heels) and as I did the juice she was drinking spilled (it all happened really fast) and I slipped from it. My feet went right out from under me, slightly kicking Hannah in her chin, and I fell right on my back on the hard kitchen tile. Hannah of course was crying from my 'kick' and I FELT like crying from the fall and the day's events. So you see, when it rains; it pours. We didn't do anymore school, but instead we cuddled on the couch and watched 'Monsters, Inc.' until it was time to pick up little Jesse from preschool. Then when daddy came home we got dressed and went out to dinner with a gift certificate we got as a present during Christmas time. The only thing I can think about with the events of the day is that God gives us all many trials, struggles, and random 'off the wall' sequences that would normally occur on various days rather than all in one day was because He was giving me my ultimate test. We all have an ultimate test, something that only God knows we need to learn from; for me this was patience. I'm not good at being patient. When something goes wrong I want it fixed; that day, if not that moment. If my husband is working I want to figure out how to solve the problem at hand, if the house is a mess, or the grass needs to be mowed I want to quickly mow, edged, and weed it. When the bills need to be paid I do it all online ahead of time. So for these events to all take place in the same morning was a major crisis for me. I was uneducated in how to repair the household fixtures that weren't cooperating and the gas stove wasn't something I was willing to 'play' with in trying to figure out on my own. Another thing I thought of when I talked with Hannah was about counting our blessings; though we had poop literally stinking our home, we both got hurt in my fall, we didn't have hot water, and the stove magically stopped working, we still had so many other things; the roof over our head, the power was still on to watch 'Monsters, Inc.', the heater still kept the house warm, etc. We are very blessed and our suffering was a just a temporary setback. To make a VERY long story short; that is if you've gotten this far, is that not only was my back and elbow bruised from my fall, but also my 'will' and 'loss of control'. I felt frustrated and even embarrassed that I wasn't able to fix any of these items, but instead had to lean on my husband for what he knew needed to be done. Maybe that's pride? Is it? I'm not sure. But I do know God's Word does state in Proverbs that 'First pride than the fall, the bigger the ego, the harder the fall. ', and I did fall pretty darn hard!!! Proverbs 16:18